Biking Into the Afterlife
by delightisadream
Summary: Someone near and dear to Daniel's hair passes away. *DON'T FLAME ME, YOU KNOW THIS WON'T BE SERIOUS*


**Happy Valentine's Day!**

 **I was going through my finished/unfinished EWW oneshots, and I came across a few that I never posted. I wrote this for ghostgirl19's birthday in 2014, so it's been awhile - this oneshot is timeless, though. XD**

* * *

 _She's gone._

Daniel Miller was feeling sick, but he knew this was the right thing to do. He needed to have this funeral. Sheila would want it that way.

He smoothed down his fierce baby blue bowtie, straightened out his bunchy pants, and fixed the collar on his tuxedo. Taking a deep breath, he opened the garage door and walked past the fourteen chairs he had set up for the service.

There sat Emma Alonso, Jax Novoa, and Andi Cruz in one corner, all huddled together. Emma had actually forced Andi into a dress for the occasion, but it wasn't black and happened to be very colorful. The Panthers and Diego Rueda, along with his sister Gigi and her camera guy Sebastian, were in another, looking very relaxed. Gigi knew that it would be disrespectful to vlog about the funeral, so she wasn't going to. However, there was a tiny camera in Sebastian's tie, ready to film the entire service.

The rest of Daniel's family—his younger siblings, Robbie, Melanie, and Tommy, along with his parents Christine and Rick—were seated at the front. Daniel had arranged it that way so he would feel protected. He was already starting to get emotional.

Daniel took his place in front of the bike rack serving as a casket and cleared his throat. He took one more look at Sheila before he decided to start. The previous day he had painted Sheila all black, except for her handlebars—those were painted red, to symbolize lipstick.

"As you all know, I have lost someone very dear to me: Sheila." He motioned to the bicycle on the bike rack. "I tried my hardest to get a reverend or pastor for the service, but they said," Daniel choked on the words. "They said it WASN'T IMPORTANT." He fanned his face. "Diego!"

Diego jumped up and rushed out of the garage and around the corner of the house. He came back with a hose in hand and sprayed Daniel in the face.

Daniel sputtered, trying to shield his bowtie with his hair. That bowtie was Sheila's favorite! "Diego! Stop!"

The Kanay turned the hose off. "Why?"

He shook his hair out. "I thought I told you to get a little sprits-bottle to spray me with!"

Diego shrugged. "You did, but I couldn't find one, so I got the hose." He smiled.

Daniel swept out an arm toward the rest of the house. "There was a sprits-bottle in the kitchen!"

Diego shrugged once more. "Well too late now." He sprayed him again, since he was still so emotional.

Daniel almost fell atop the bike rack, which was NOT acceptable. "But that's the hardest setting!"

His best friend blinked. "There are different settings?"

Daniel sighed, but turned back to his guests. He needed to be strong for Sheila. "Anyway, as you can tell, I'm a little emotional right now—"

In the back, Andi leaned over to Jax and whispered, "Right _now?"_ The wizard snickered.

Emma hit Andi's arm and frowned, expressing her disapproval.

"So, Emma." Emma looked up at her boyfriend's hopeful expression and shook her head. "Will you do me the honor of speaking first?"

Emma grimaced, closing her eyes. But she stood up and said, "Sure." She got to the bike rack and turned to face the rest of the room. "Well, uh, I didn't know Sheila that long, but she was always very trustworthy and got Daniel anywhere he wanted to go. So I'm grateful for that and sorry that her time with him had to be so short."

Robbie raised his hand. "But he had it for six years."

Daniel smacked his thighs. "She!"

Christine looked at her second eldest son. "Don't be so disrespectful, Robert."

Daniel was ready to cry already. "That's still a short ti—"

Diego sprayed him again.

"AHH!" Daniel shielded his entire face this time, calling the service back to order.

Emma glanced around. "Um, Jax. You're turn." She kept her head down as she passed Jax on his way to the bike rack.

Jax glanced at Emma, who was giving him a death stare. "So, I'm getting a little look from Em, so I guess maybe I should l at least try to sound sincere?" Emma face-palmed. "So yeah, I knew about _Janis_ —"

Daniel took a step forward. "You know about Janis?!" he whispered frantically, shifting his eyes back and forth.

Jax grinned slyly, continuing on as if the boy had never interrupted. "But, you know, I didn't know about SHEILA until I was asked to come to this, uh . . ." He glanced around and coughed into his fist. " _Service."_

Daniel waved a hand in front of his face. "It's true." He looked at Diego, who in turn sighed and sprayed the boy in the face.

He coughed. "And…your garage looks nice?" Who knew Emma wanting him to be good was such a hard thing to follow through on?

Rick clapped. "Thank you! I did it myself." Christine gave her husband a look. "What?"

Jax grinned. "Andi. Why don't you go next?"

Andi hissed "I hate you" when he went past her.

"So, I never really knew Sheila and I never really wanted to. With that said, it's not much of a loss; I still have cargo shorts in my life."

Jax struggled with containing his laughter. Daniel struggled with controlling his sobbing.

Andi smiled widely. "Diego." She motioned to come forward as she took her seat.

"Maddie, take over hosing Daniel down for me real quick!" Diego hollered, walking to the front of the bike rack.

Maddie groaned and pushed herself off of her seat, positioning herself next to Daniel, aiming the hose up at him. She was ready.

Diego coughed awkwardly and held out his arms. "Well. This is a beautiful service and _Sheila_ would be happy you're taking care of things like you are." He nodded at his best friend.

Daniel sniffled. "Thank you."

Maddie groaned and whipped out a tissue from her purse, outstretching it to the emotional manchild. He took it and blew his nose loudly. Even Emma cringed.

Diego held out his hand to his girlfriend. "Maddie?"

"Katie!" Maddie screeched. She switched places with one of her Panthers, instead of going to speak about the bicycle.

Diego hung his head and walked back to the hose.

Katie composed herself and pressed her shirt down more. "I wrote a few words." Her school habits had kicked in the night before, and now she had a note card full of things to say about Daniel's 'deceased' bike. "It seems like Daniel sure had a lot of good times with . . . Sheila. From riding to school on the first day, to biking over to crash Maddie's sleepover, to painting her black and red for her funeral, he really cared about her. It was an awkwardly beautiful companionship. Thank you." She nodded at the room full of people. "Soph, get up here."

Sophie replaced Katie at the front of the Millers' garage. "Hi!" she waved, gaining a bunch of 'hi's back. "So personally, I believe that Daniel should've have painted her green, because the environment is everythi—"

"That's it, Sophie," Diego cut her off, shaking his head.

"Oh, cool! Now I don't have to talk about this weird bike," Sophie said excitedly. A muffled sob escaped from Daniel's mouth. "Sebastian!" she called, then skipped back to her seat happily.

Sebastian took his place, pivoting to get everyone's faces in his tie camera. Diego made a face, not understanding what his sister's camera guy was doing. "Hello, Daniel's family and fr… Hello everyone."

Jax snickered again. Emma sighed and leaned her head back, counting the tiles on the garage ceiling. Andi was already snoring.

"I don't know much about this bicycle named Sheila, but I do know that Gigi and I are very sorry for your lo—"

A little ding went off in Diego's head. "Gigi, is Sebastian FILMING this?!"

Gigi's face went blank. "SEBASTIAN!"

Sebastian waited until Gigi got next to him, then the two ran out of the garage.

"GIGI, I DON'T WANT THE WHOLE SCHOOL TO KNOW I WAS HERE!" Diego called after them, very frustrated.

Daniel choked back a sob.

Diego turned to his best friend. "C'mon, dude, you KNOW that no one cares."

Daniel started to cry aloud again.

The Kanay sighed and lifted the hose up, spraying him in the face.

Daniel shook out his hair and sniffed. "Alright, can my family say some words, then I'll . . . I'll cry out mine."

Jax made the same face he did when Emma told him to make sure Daniel texted his mom.

Christine got to the bike rack and hugged her son. "Of course, sweetie." She released him and took her place, smoothing out her dress. "Sheila has had an incredible and unforgettable impact on all of us, especially Daniel. She rode her way into all of our hearts, even if there were a few bumps in the bicycle trail here and there. And I _know_ that Sheila would want Daniel to recover soon."

Daniel grabbed his mom around her middle and hugged her tightly. "Thanks, Mommy," he whispered.

Christine smiled and took her seat. She whacked Rick on the back and pointed to the front of the room. Rick groaned and went to the bike rack.

He sighed and put out his arms. "Can I just say that this is really distur—"

"RICK!"

He threw up his hands. "ALRIGHT, I'll just sit down!" He got to his seat and patted Robbie on the back. "You're up, Rob."

"Can I go up with Melanie?"

Christine eyed them suspiciously. "Sure..."

Melanie and Robbie walked up to the bicycle rack and grinned. "So Sheila," Robbie started.

"This bike," Melanie confirmed.

"Is now deceased."

"But we're just glad that we could help prepare the bike—"

"Her!" Daniel yelled, smacking his thighs again. Emma cringed in the back.

"Her, for the burial," Robbie smiled.

Melanie's smile matched his. "Because we could decorate it!"

Daniel's eyes had fear and tears in them. "Wait, what?! WHAT'D YOU DO TO SHEILA?!" Diego got the hose too close to his face, but Daniel screamed, "DON'T DO THAT!" and Diego backed down.

Mel pointed at her younger brother. "Tommy!"

Tommy smirked and jumped to his feet. He walked over to a rope that was hanging from the ceiling and tugged on it slightly. Confetti, sparkles, sequins, and glitter rained down on top of Sheila.

Emma clapped. "Glitter!"

Daniel sobbed, "Emma, HOW can you be happy about this?! They just ruined Sheila!"

Christine shook her head. "No, Danny, they just accessorized her for you." She smiled. "They helped you."

"But Sheila was ALREADY SO BEAUTIFUL!"

Andi, who had recently been woken up, motioned Emma towards her. "Didn't he call you ugly before?" she whispered.

Emma frowned and gave a slight nod.

Jax made himself more comfortable, kicking his legs out and crossing his arms. "Well this sure says a lot about Daniel's priorities."

Robbie, Melanie, and Tommy took a bow. "And now Tommy would like to say a word of his own," Melanie added. She and Robbie took their seats while Tommy stood, just a little bit taller than Sheila.

"I don't really understand what's going on, but isn't Sheila just a bike?"

"MOM!" Daniel cried. Diego sprayed him.

"Thomas!" Christine scolded.

Tommy put up his hands. "What'd I say? I mean, isn't it just a bike?"

Rick held out his hand. "You got that right, son!" Tommy high-fived him.

"Mom, this isn't going as plaaaanned!" Daniel whined, stomping his foot and crossing his arms.

Christine smiled weakly at him and said, "I know, sweetie. But, just go and say your speech! Then you can have your alone time with Sheila."

Andi sat up in her seat. "How 'bout we all just go home?!"

Katie, Jax, Sophie, Maddie, and Diego all voiced their agreements, starting to stand up.

Rick bolted to his feet and pointed at each of the teenagers in turn, fuming. "NO! Okay, I DID NOT destroy this bike just for him to NEVER GET OVER IT!"

The rest of the Miller family gasped. "Rick!" Christine shouted, standing to face her husband. "You did this?"

Rick threw up his hands. "Yes! Yes, alright?! I did! I was SICK AND TIRED of Daniel always getting so worked up about Sheila!" He took a deep breath and scowled at his eldest son. "And Annette, Janis, Ukie, and the future Jenny. So, I did what I had to do."

"I can't believe you really messed up his bicycle, Dad!" Robbie exclaimed.

Rick turned to him, eyebrows furrowed. "I didn't. I paid some guy at work to do it."

Daniel's tears were everywhere by now. "You told me that I was a bad boy this year and this is what Santa decided to give me for Christmas!"

Andi made a face. "But it's March!"

Rick sighed. "See, that's another thing. He's such an idiot!"

"RICK!" Christine could not believe what her husband was saying about his own son!

Melanie began to usher everyone out of the garage and into the main room. "Uh-huh, uh-huh, nothing to see here, just keep going, YES I'LL FILM IT, ANDI!"

~ . ~

Twenty minutes later, Christine and Rick were all alone in the garage.

Christine tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for an answer. "Well?"

Rick crossed his arms. "I already told you, Christine. I _did not_ make any profit by this and _no one_ persuaded me to do it."

She groaned, but started for the door. "I swear, Rick, sometimes you are such a disgrace to our children."

As soon as the door slammed shut, Jax rounded the corner and walked into the garage. "Well?" he asked Rick, smirking.

Rick nodded, letting out a relieved breath. "She doesn't know."

The wizard laughed. "Excellent."

Mr. Miller took a step towards Jax, leaning in a bit. "But, um," he whispered, "where's my money?"

Jax glanced around the room, reaching into his front pocket. He pulled out a twenty and handed it to Rick. "Only half. Cuz you admitted you didn't do it yourself."

Rick pocketed the money and shrugged. "I didn't have the time."

Jax nodded and took a look around the room one final time, then left the scene.

Rick wiped his hands and smiled. Beginning his walk to the door, he said, "My work here is done."

* * *

 **Did you expect that? Probably not. Did you expect ANY part of this story? I don't think so. XD**

 **Review!**


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